[These are rough notes of a talk delivered by Shaykh Omar Mukhtar on Ramadan 25 in Post Asr Majlis, South Africa i’tikaf, 2015]
[From 25 attributes of a true Mu’min]
22. Being merciful towards creation
If you are soft towards the ones on the earth, the One in the sky will be soft towards you. We go on hurting our family and colleagues and expect them to be nice to us. And we also expect Allah swt to grant us all our du’as.
Allah swt is Ra’uf ar-Raheem. Allah swt says about Nabi sws that he also had that. This is the true attribute to have. If you have people working under you, they have rights over you. Nabi sws told Sahaba ra that I see imaan in your heart but not the excellence of imaan. Nabi sws was doing tarbiyah. He said you are not merciful towards one another. If we are not being merciful then we will never have excellence of imaan. We have lost this love and respect for others.
Once there was a person and his wife committed a very big sin, so much so that he could have divorced her, it was his right. But instead he forgave her. Then that person died and someone saw him in a dream and he said that Allah swt forgave me. Allah swt said that you forgave my creation for My sake, today I will also forgive you.
You should also accept apologies of people. Instead we hold grudges for many years, we say that person did 1 bad thing with me 10 years back. It happens even to sisters, they will remember something their brother did many years back, like I asked my brother for a favour but he didn’t do it for me, now I will also not do any favour for him. It should have been the other way around.
A great wali of Allah swt was walking, whilst a mugger came and stole his bag. All of a sudden the beggar became blind and fell on the floor. He started crying and told people about what had happened. People went to that wali and requested him to take his bag and forgive that mugger, because he had lost his eyesight and was remorseful over his act. But the wali said I forgave him as soon as he had taken my bag! They have no hope with mankind, they were only hopeful of Allah swt. And now we are only hopeful in makhlooq and hopeless of Allah swt.
Nabi sws has said that if someone says sorry to you and you do not accept the apology, then do not see me on haudh e kauthar. Very scary hadith. We should make niyyat that we forgive everyone for Your sake no matter how rude they were, how mean they were to us. Cleanse your heart from all of this malice and hatred. We already have too many sins, we don’t want to add more and more grudges.
We should be a well-wisher for everyone. A true mu’min is an optimist. He should always think that whatever is happening, there is always a silver lining – always think this is from Allah swt and this is for the best. Deen is completely well-wishing. Amazing hadith: if you want to think that someone is bad, you should find 70 good things in them first. What we do is that we forget 70 good deeds and just remember that one fault. You should not reprimand people, 70 is a big number.
Our mashaikh say that when you are looking at other people’s faults, you should think this is a mirror and these are actually our faults. There are so many things that we need to learn from our mashaikh.
23. Never complain to people
We need to stop complaining. In the corporate world, they say stop complaining, start doing. The employee says I can’t meet this target, this is a problem, that’s difficult. The manager says stop complaining, start doing, start achieving.
A big wali of Allah swt went to masjid and lost his shoes. He was thinking about this loss and when he saw a person who did not have feet and was dragging himself on the road. He immediately made shukr that at least I have feet. What we do is that we forget what we have. Stop thinking about what you don’t have. If you want to think of what you don’t have then think of in terms of deen; what kind of ibadat, sabr, connection with Allah, du’a, fast, they have that we don’t have?
In the world we go around complaining. In the office a person gets a promotion, he is happy about it. He goes to his wife and says that I got a promotion but I could have gotten a better raise, then he starts comparing himself to others. Who are we to say what we deserve? When you go on the road and you see a woman beggar on the road with a child you should think that woman could have been my mother and that child could have been me. Stop complaining, you don’t deserve the lifestyle you have.
Complaining also means you are complaining about Allah swt. because you are saying that nauzubillah He is not just in distributing the rizq. If you think like this, it sounds like a big thing. We are complaining about Allah swt to makhlooq. Our mashaikh say all your expectations should be from Allah swt, don’t expect anything from brother, neighbour etc. Don’t expect to get a raise, yes work hard. Be hopeful that Allah swt will forgive us, he will give us deedar. There is no comparison.
وَآَخِرُ دَعْوَانَا أَنِ الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ