[These are the rough notes of a talk delivered by Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed (db) in Stanger Masjid on Jul 09, 2015]
Being from the Youth of Stanger, you have been blessed by Allah swt with a community and a masjid that has had many mashaikh and ulema. Many of you have parents who are close to those mashaikh and ulema. Many of you have homes where different ulema and mashaikh have come and sat with you, stayed with you, ate with you. And then you have ZMS (Zakariyya Muslim School), your favorite place in the world, named after Hadrat Shaykh ul Hadith rah.
The problem is that even though you have all of these things, you still have to choose it for yourselves. Sometimes it happens that when you get everything on a plate then you do not feel hungry anymore. Some of you are in a situation that you have gotten a lot of deen from Allah swt on your plate, but you do not feel hungry for it. You should want to get your own hunger.
There are two ways we could try to make that happen. When someone grows up in a house of deen, we want them to choose that house themselves, not because they were born in it.
One way is to put them out of the house. However, then there is a danger; if we put you out of the house and then ask you to come through the door yourself, there is a danger that you might get lost out there. There is a danger that you might forget the door. There is a danger that you may not choose the door and come back in.
So there is a second option: without putting you outside the house you like the house yourself; that you get happy that Ya Rabbi Kareem You raised me in this environment of deen. This is the challenge that you people face, especially the youth of Stanger. It is a very small community, a very small town, all of you know each other; you are all cousins and related to each other. You have to make that choice.
Shaytan is going to put some other choices in front of you. First Shaytan might try to get you to look with dreamy eyes at the big city Durban; and the beach, la hawla wala quwwata illa billa. Then can you not see that even the Durban people are coming here? They are choosing Stanger. Durban people are coming to Stanger masjid and Stanger youth is dreaming of Durban beach?
You have to be careful, these places are a fitnah. If you leave the beaches of this world, Allah swt will give you beaches of Jannah. If you leave the sightseeing in this world, Allah swt will take you sightseeing in Jannah, inshaAllah. You have to resist these temptations.
The screen is what you stare at. Screen is what you are interested in, it is what you are focused on. If you give your heart to Allah swt, and sunnah of Nabi sws, then the screen will never be able to hurt you ever again. But if you do not make that deal, then you will always be in danger when you are near the screen.
- Try to be friends with those who are trying to be friends with Allah swt.
- Try not to be friends with those not trying to be with friends with Allah swt. If a person is not praying he is not being friend of Allah swt. Don’t think he is just lazy. If he is after girls then he is not trying to be a friend with Allah swt.
Benefits of Having Good Friends
What will happen when you get good friends? When you have your own pair of sneakers, because they are your own, you will not feel they are worn out even though they are old. But if your friend gets new sneakers and he puts his sneakers next to yours, then you will realize how worn out and dirty your own sneakers are.
Good friends are like the new sneakers; they make you realize how dirty your own heart is. Nabi sws has said that a good friend is like a fragrance seller. Even if you do not buy perfume from him, the minimum benefit you will get from him is that you will start smelling good! And a bad friend is like a blacksmith; the least harm he will cause you is that your clothes will get dirty because of smoke.
Worst friend of all is the screen. If you start with the sin now, even when you grow old you will not able to get out of it. Our Shaykh says about these people that even if they have a wife, they still prefer wifi. There should be no wifi in the house. There should only be a cabled internet, and that cable should go into a big 21″ plus plasma screen in your living room, main room, family room or sitting room where everyone can see it. Then you can play your games. Some of your parents do not understand these things. They have their own wifi issues.
Be More Mature
Arabs used to tell a poem to their children: O young man if you do not achieve greatness by the age of 20 you will never achieve greatness in your entire life. All those below 20 years of age should think about this.
When you cross 12 you are an adult. West came up with a big fitnah with the concept of teenage. According to them, a teenager is not a child, nor an adult. Their concept is that in your teenage you should try everything and do everything and when you grow up later, as if it is going to happen, then you may decide what to do.
Some of you in your 20s and 30s also need to grow up. Emotionally you are still 12. You should be a role model for the younger ones. They should look to you and say this is mard e mo’min; saleh, dhakir.
Children should be attached to their teachers, ulema and mashaikh. They should do all the things grown ups do. Because once you hit 12, you are a grown up whether you like it or not. You have super turbo charged imaan in your heart, so you have to use it. If someone gives a Ferrari to grandma she will drive 5 miles an hour. You will say move over grandma give me the Ferrari.
Imaan is like Ferrari, and you are driving it like a grandma. You should floor it. You should be deep in sunnah, deep in salah, you should outpace one another. You will get this tarbiyah in darul uloom, madrassa and masjid. You will not get this from this society; the society also wants you to be an adult, but it wants you to be an adult in a twisted way. They want you to race to sin and deen wants you to race to Jannah, it’s your choice.
You should follow the sunnah of nabi sws. We have seen that boys who like a soccer star wear his number on their jersey. Who is your greatest star? Nabi sws. You have been selected for team Ummat e mustafa sws!
When we would play sports as kids, we would make random captains, and everyone would want to get selected first. If one of the captains turns out to be a good captain, you will be happy if they selected you, because that would most likely be the winning team. There is only one winning team in this world and that is Ummat e Mustafa sws, and Allah swt has selected you to be on that team. You should be happy, you should wear the colors. We want you young ones to become captains of this team, you can do it. It is all there for you.
You have to be very kind and nice to parents. Listen to them and get their duas, try to make parents happy with you. If you have any sadness in life then you must seek help from someone – imam or mufti, you must share your concerns, never keep anything inside. Anytime you feel any sorrow any sadness in life, you must share it.
You are too young to manage things on your own. Society wants that you should not go to anyone, rather you should just go to sin if you feel sad, lonely, depressed, or if you have summer vacations. You should want only one thing: I want to go to deen. Whatever happens you must turn to deen. Don’t wait, it will become too late.
Try to make dhikr of Allah swt. Mashaikh call it a secret dhikr. Should I tell you about secret dhikr? But then it will not be secret anymore!
The way to make secret dhikr is that no one else will know that you are making dhikr; your parents will not know; the class fellows will not know; kiramun katibeen angels also will not know. Yes, it comes that when angels will open up the book of deeds, there will be written sweet fragrance at some places. Angels will say we would sometimes smell a sweet fragrance from this person and we would not know what it was so we would write it as it is. And Allah swt will himself give the reward for it. When the King gives reward for something it is big!
Everyone will have a secret love. Young people fall in love. It is your choice which love you want. Do you want to fall in love with a girl or a boy, or you want to be in love with Allah swt?
Secret dhikr can be made anytime, all the time you want. The way to do this is that in your heart just remember Allah swt. Remember that He is near you. Remember His name Allah. You can do that while running down the field or doing anything else. More you put remembrance of Allah swt in your heart, more you will be protected.
Learn Stories of Nabi sws and Sahaba ra
If you want to learn the sunnah then ask your parents or older siblings to tell you stories of Sahaba ra and Nabi sws. Keep listening and remembering and thinking about these stories. Then inshaAllah one day it will become your own story. It will be the story of your life.
Make Friends With People Wiser Than YouYou should spend time and get to know older people, because they are wiser and more mature. They can protect and guide you and befriend you. Always look up and ahead. May Allah swt accept your coming. We have great hope that Allah swt will raise from among you young people some of the great friends of Allah swt.
وَآَخِرُ دَعْوَانَا أَنِ الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ