Guidelines on Living the Worldly Life

[Rough notes of a Cii talk by Shaykh Kamaluddin Ahmed on Feb 19, 2015]

Allah swt and Prophet (sws) have given a lot of instructions on how to live the worldly life. Still we find many Muslims lacking in this aspect. If you look at their deen, they are not just doing faraid, but also extra activities. And you will see that they are also staying away from sins. But they are still struggling in deen; and when they struggle they start slipping back into sin.

What happened?

One reason is that the person does not follow guidelines on how to live the worldly life. For example, they are not properly married, or they are not properly a son, not properly a parent or not properly doing their job. Unless we make deen the be all and end all of our lives such that every aspect of our life is completely transformed by deen, we will always be in danger of slipping.

Enter into the deen completely.

People have increasingly started to say that they feel distant from Allah swt at home. It is understandable that if in a non-Muslim majority area they feel so when on their jobs. But how did it happen that sitting at home, with their family members, they don’t feel close to Allah swt?

Your home should not feel this way. Sometimes we walk into a house and we can’t even tell if it’s a Muslim’s house or a non-Muslim’s house. Maybe there’s just one wall-hanging present. It’s not just about the home; they have it at a cultural level.

[In this aspect, there are many things that we need to change, following are some of them:]

Language:

The way you talk should be different. this is a special problem in England that the way Muslims here talk is the same as the low-class English people talk – with the same lack of mannerism. Nabi (sws) was eloquent. Though, he (sws) spoke in simple, easy to understand Arabic Language. But all the sentences are completed and have fasaha and balagha.

Allah swt’s book is the most eloquent of course because it is the Kalam of Allah swt. But very close to that is the speech of Nabi (sws). Muslims should throw out the slang. They say some words without any thought, any meaning, they just insert it in randomly.

This is what we see in the lives of the Sahaba RA that when they would travel to different places, they would also change the culture of those places.

Nabi (sws) has said: A person who imitates a nation will be raised with it.

What does imitation mean? It does not mean your accent. All accents are fine. But stay away from using slang words, especially of youngsters. The more you will control this, the less likely you are to fall into the sin of the tongue.

Furniture:

Every outward thing you do shows the innerself. If someone eloquently designs the home, they will have a certain philosophy behind it. You don’t want a house that’s coming from a totally materialistic culture. Turkish, Afghani, Arabic furniture should be there.

Sometimes we go to the houses and we are amazed at how poorly they are designed with respect topardah. We can see that it has clearly not been acknowledged in design. The design was designed inghaflah.

Work:

Even the type of the job we do or even how we carry ourselves should be guided by deen. It is absolutely acceptable that when many Muslims came to England from various parts of the world they took up low paying jobs like taxi driver etc. Because they needed that to settle down. But it is absolutely wrong (not legally) that their children should also take up those low paying jobs. It means Muslims should excel in education and in society.

This is not related to money. Unfortunately, people like to suggest that it is perfectly fine that the whole generations of family is taxi drivers and that they don’t advance socially. In part, we must accept that poor performance of Muslims in England is a reason why Islam is not presented in an attractive way. You need to show people that my love for Allah swt has lifted me up and has made me a better person. You should not show that I’m lazy or a drop out from school.

There are so many school drop outs. This is such a big problem. Ulema and mashaikh must train the parents to train the children. While other children are busy in studies, what do you think the drop outs are doing? 99% of them are doing sins. I’m not talking about the ones who go to darul uloom. They are even more wonderful than the university students. But the rest of the 99% are getting into sins. The amount of gangs and the amount of pre-marital relations and zina is alarming.

Muslims have to perform at the best of their abilities. You must be the best member of the society that you can be. Otherwise you have not fulfilled Allah swt’s right over you – that the deen has transformed you as a person.

Family life:

Muslims should be the best sons, daughters – best husbands and wives. But we have so many divorces and separations. And behind the scenes there are many more unreported divorces and separations. And then these people end up in all types of sins. This happens generally also, and this is even happening within practicing Muslims. Muslims are not even striving to live according to deen. They are not wanting to be guided by Allah swt in these matters. They are not looking up to the Sunnah of Nabi (sws) for these matters. This is a sin – to be neglectful of the teachings of Allah swt.

Often we talk a lot about marriage. For those who are interested, we have done a whole long series on marital bliss which is available on islamicspirituality.org

We have observed that even in aitikaf in the last 10 days of Ramadan, these types of talks are delivered such as how to become a better husband, how to manage home better. Because this is also part of our deen. In the field of education, parents must make sure children must study as hard as they can. They should perform as best as they can.

Parenting:

Muslim women are, generally speaking, better mothers than Muslim men are fathers. So we need to find a way to motivate Muslim men to become better fathers. We acknowledge that they are involved in earning and have several responsibilities. But still we see that fathers don’t spend any time with their children. And even when they do, they just play some games, which is also good. But they never get around to talking about Ahadith, and wonderful stories of deen.

So many fathers come to us wondering how to talk to their children. Because they haven’t talked to them in 10 years like this. You can’t just only tell them what is right. You have to inspire them to feel the feelings of love for Allah swt, feel the feelings of gratefulness of Allah swt, feelings of fear of Allah swt. When we tell them this, the fathers panic. Because they have never ever talked to their children about Allah swt. So it is very important that the fathers must sit with the children and talk about these things.

The children must feel that my father is the lover of Allah swt. They should feel that my father obeys Allah swt. He is alway praising and doing shukr of Allah swt.

We have a strange situation especially in South Africa that parents send their children to madrassahs and they finish their studies and come back. But inside their hearts they have worldly feelings and love for this world.

All of the above things have to be transformed according to the teachings of deen. If we don’t do this, it means deen has not yet fully entered our heart and then we are at a danger of slipping.

May Allah swt make everything in our lives around the teachings of deen.

***

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